Naked Calendar and Beyond

This blog will consist of a few short "stories". I've got a lot of little things I want to tell y'all about.

         Story 1          

Compliment 

"You're a gentleman and a Scotsman". Raymond was given this complement when he let some men, who were cutting down a tree out front, borrow some tools. I think that is the highest honor one can receive. 

~ The End

Story 2

 Twin Visit!

I'm so excited about Laura (My twin sister) coming to visit me. She arrives on Thursday morning. I'm taking the 6:15 am train to Edinburgh and Thursday morning could not come soon enough. I have her entire trip planned out from a day trip to Pittenween to Stirling Castle and everything in between. Get excited about that blog post!

~ The End

Story 3

The Naked Canedar

I know this is the one you all have been waiting for:

 This story begins on a normal work day. I was sitting behind the desk one normal afternoon. One male student, who is on the football team, walks in and asks me where he should go for the photo shoot. I have no idea what he is talking about, this is not a unusual occurrence.

I direct him to the football coach and he then directs him to the locker room to get "changed". The rest of the boys come piling in and head to the locker rooms. I hear jokes like "Ready to get naked?" I'm thinking this is just playful banter.

NOPE

The football team comes out in their pants. (remember previous post about pants aka underpants) Now don't forget, this is Scotland, in November, it's freakin' cold outside. The normal cold jokes go around and they are off to the front pitch to have their shoot.

Right now I'm thinking OK they are going to have a photo shoot in their boxers.

NOPE

From my desk I had a FULL view of what went on. Three giggling girls ran out there with their cameras, one minute the football players are all lined up with their boxers on, I look away to help a customer, the next minute I look out and the boxer are gone and the guys are doing a butt shot. The entire football team, outside on the pitch having a naked photo shoot for an Athletic Union Calendar. Now don't get me wrong, I've seen the movie Calendar girls but I didn't know it was this common.

It's not just 3 snaps and they are done. Oh no. This was a 20 minute naked pose after naked pose broad daylight full on photo shoot. Some of our customers picked the wrong time to come in for a work out, that's for sure. I had to reassure an old man that this was not a normal occurrence. One girl walked straight up to me wide eyed and said, "I didn't know where to look!" HAHAHA

It was like a train wreck you don't want to watch but you have to sneak a few peeks. (human nature). News travels fast and before I know it the men and women who work upstairs have come down to also watch. By this time I'm redder than a tomato and wishing it would all just stop.

It finally stopped and everything went back to normal. I found out this is a yearly calendar and that several of the AU clubs are posing naked. Among them are, men's football, men and women's rugby, women's golf, and wait for it.... wait for it.... the Trampoline club. That's right. I said the Trampoline club. ON the Trampoline. That is one shoot I don't want to go anywhere near. I asked the club captain if she was worried about her wobbly bits showing up on camera. She hadn't thought about that. Come on people, that can not be flattering.

A few nights later I was there to witness the Rugby men's naked shoot. It was at night, Thank Goodness! I couldn't see much and the lasted only about 10 minutes.


~ The End

Story 4

Race the bag lady

One day in a far away land I was preparing to go for a run. My usual route is from Guardbridge to Leuchars. It's only a 2.5 mile run and it's a great way to get out of the house and see God's beautiful creation. On this run I pass the Leuchars train station. While passing said train station I passed a lady carrying 4 plastic bags. She was in her 60s but looked worn. She had on a heavy coat and very broken in  converse sneakers. I passed her and said hello. 

Next thing I know she starts running after me. I slow down and she passes me and stares at me like she's saying "you dare run past me? I'll show you". I'm half laughing half scared about what this bag lady is going to do to me. What is she going to pull out of her bags? She keeps looking back at me, scowling. I'm thinking this is the weirdest thing that has ever happen to me on a run. 

Bag lady's phone then begins to ring. What's her ring tone you ask? Cat's meowing of course. How could it be anything else? She suddenly stops and answers her phone. I run past her and speed up. I make it back to my house safe and sound. I was not harmed by the Bag/Cat lady. 

~ The End

Story 5

Day Trips Rock

Yesterday, Raymond took the day off and we went to Pittenween and Anstruther. Two coastal towns about 30 minutes by bus from St. Andrews. Accompanying us were two very awesome people, Garrick and Andrea.  It was so much fun. I have to steal some of the photos Andrea took (we are camera-less for only a few more days. Laura is bringing us a Camera. THANKS MOM AND DAD!)

Our first stop was in Pittenween. It's a tiny town on the North Sea. It's absolutely beautiful. We first walked to this restaurant where we had the best hot chocolates! This place puts chocolate in everything they serve. It's pretty amazing.

 I had the Hazelnut and Andrea had the Dark hot chocolate.

I chose to drink mine out of the cinnamon stick provided. Andrea couldn't do this because her cinnamon sick was defected. (also i think she's too lady like, her momma raised her up real good. My mother is ashamed of my uncouth ways, BUT she loves me anyway)

We played dominos and had a blast. We are so happy to have found people who love to play games as much as we do.
         Side note: Yes that is Raymond's Nancy Drew/ Hardy boys button he found on his desk in German class. Yes, he has worn it everywhere.

We walked from Pittenween to Anstruther. It was a beautiful walk along the coast and a lovely sunny day.

The boys continue their bro-mance while I wait on Andrea.

Raymond is pretending he's a zombie or something. I'm trying to take a cute, frame worthy picture with him and he does this....

On the last leg of our walk we found an awesome swing set. So of course we had to swing. Anstruther is in the background of this picture.

We ate lunch and walked around before departing. It was a great day trip with great company.

~ The End


And they All lived Happily Ever After

"I'm More Fit Than A Butcher's Dog"

Hello All,

    I want to first set the scene of what I'm doing at this very moment:

I've just moved to the den to get away from the bowl of cookie dough in the kitchen. Raymond and I are making sugar cookies and I have no self control whatsoever. Raymond is upstairs working on school stuff (cough *nerd* cough) and I'm jamming out to Shane & Shane The one you need. I bought this CD last night thanks to an iTunes gift card. Thank you Carolyn and Scott Morehouse!!

    Now that we have that out of the way...

This post will be about my hysterical Job, Receptionist at the University of St. Andrews Sports Centre. Let me first start out by saying God is Great. He is the only reason I got this job. My co-workers have described me as "lucky" because getting a University job is almost unheard of unless you know someone. I knew no one. If you want to know the long story about how I got this job let me know. It's truly a God intervention story. Starting with I didn't even apply.

      Vocab:
 1. Field - Pitch
 2. Cleats - Boots
 3. Why? - How?

Out of the entire staff there are only two Americans, myself included. I'm the only American that is not a student. This makes for some hysterical  conversations. Let's start with me telling you about Willy, the head grounds keeper. Willy is from Fife and has a thick accent. I find it hysterical because I can not understand one word he says.  I dread it when I answer the phone and it's Willy. I know it's going to take a long time to decipher what he is saying. I tell him constantly that I have no idea what he is saying. When we finally figured each other out I'm laughing hysterically and he tells everyone he has to use his "posh" voice with me. I feel like Willy and I need to come up with some sort of code.

The people that work at the front desk and up stairs are also very entertaining. I have so much fun singing with Gillian and teaching her how to speak "southern". Iain just likes to dance (goofy dance) to whatever is on the radio and talk about his delicate woman hands (don't ask). He's fun.  Joyce tries to teach me how to speak Scottish but it's not sticking. I get made fun of almost everyday for saying y'all. I can't stop saying y'all. It's been in my vocabulary way too long. I promise I'm going to have them saying y'all in no time. I still can't speak in a Scottish accent unless it's a line from Shriek.

Locked IN:

One thing that happens constantly is people locking each other into closets. If the person is smart enough to carry their phone with them they call me and I decide if they should be let out or not. (usually I let them out) The favorite is locking people in the boiler/laundry room. Its loud, hot, and people are easily trapped in. I always carry a key in with me. I will not be fooled. (well I have not been fooled yet)

BLOOD:

Sports Injuries happen, and I'm there to be weirdly interested/grossed out by them. Grossest things I've seen:

1. Eyeball bleeding - basketball
2. Ear/head bleeding A LOT- rugby. This was really disturbing b/c the guy kept fainting
3. Teeth knocked out- this happens a lot.
4. Black eyes- happens all the time in boxing

Annoying:

I get hit on by students. I let them know that I'm way older than them and married. It was flattering at first, now it's just annoying. One poor kid hit on me and then pretended to make a business call. Something about 50 million barrels? He kept looking up at me to see if I was listening and I kept giggling at his efforts to impress. He keeps asking when I work and hangs around reception. That poor kid.

Pictures of the Sports Centre

The equipment is amazing the facility is outdated and in desperate need of a face lift.

Dundee United is the football team that train at our facilities. Everyone there knows I'm hopeless when it comes to knowing about any european sport. I know nothing about: Netball, Korfball, Cricket, or Rugby to name a few, but I'm learning!

tootles

MB

Family, Friends, and Adventure

It has been a fully loaded amazing week. My mom and her best friend Marilyn came to visit. We had a total blast!

(Marilyn and Beth/MOM at the Cathedral)

One thing awesome about their visit is they brought 4 bags full of my stuff! YES! My shoes have arrived. Thank goodness! 

(This is me carrying two military duffel bags and a rolling suitcase.  The bag on the front was my bag-o-shoes.)

The taxi driver told us he had never seen anyone carry so much luggage and that I had to be slightly crazy. Yes this is true cabby, no need to point it out. 

We spend that first day walking around St. Andrews seeing the sites. I wouldn't let either of them sleep because that is a sure fire way to get crazy jet lag. So I bullied them the entire day. Poking was involved. I'm pretty sure Marilyn fell asleep sitting up at one point. The technique worked and they slept a full night and were not jet lagged the entire trip! Amazing!

Raymond did this to me as well. I think I was more of a spoiled sport than Mom or Marilyn. I begged and pleaded with him to let me take a nap. He was strong, and I am thankful because I didn't get one bit of jet lag either.

(Edinburgh Castle)

The next day we went to Edinburgh to see the sites! This was Marilyn's first trip to Europe so it was exciting to show her around. Everything just looks so different. Raymond was able to move some things around and joined us on our trip. 

We did some tourist shopping, walked around Old Town, walked up and down the Royal Mile, and visited John Knox's house. It was also a blast to show Mom and Marilyn where we ate and stayed on our last trip to Edinburgh in February 2011. They were especially interested in the Hostel, where we shared a room with several other individuals. 

Another great part of this past week was the visit of my cousin Annie! Annie lives in Edinburgh and came over on Sunday morning to see all of us. She's so great. It is crazy that we live just an hour away from each other. I'm excited to get to know her more and have some real family time. 

All in all this has been an exciting family filled week. I thank God for giving such an amazing life.