Apparently I think I am Superwoman (this is a clumsy story)

In a land far far away lived a girl named Anonymous, okay okay her name is Mary Blake... man this is an embarrassing post to write.

This story is a two parter so buckle up boys and girls it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Part 1: It was a cold, dark winter afternoon. (sun sets at 4:30)

On this day Raymond and I got all bundled up to get some fresh air. (the actual reason for us being outside has been knocked out of my memory, see below)

Raymond had just walked through our garden gate and was waiting for his lovely graceful wife to join him. I (the lovely and graceful wife) locked the door, twirled around and started after Raymond. All of a sudden, for no reason what so ever, my tiny feet forgot about the tiny step that should have been effortlessly maneuvered. I tripped. Instead of stopping to regain my balance I try and do the "run it out" routine.

I have no idea why I did this because no one was around to see said trip and let's be honest the "run it out" (no one just saw me trip right?) recovery never fools anyone.

This routine didn't quite work the way I wanted. I ended up going too fast and tripping over the next step into our lovely garden. Let me be honest here, I was in a full out sprint when the second trip occurred and at this point am in no way in control of my limbs. This is the part where I become superwomen. I was literally fully extended, arms straight out in front of me legs behind me FLYING through the air. Alas, the in the air part didn't last long. I quickly lost altitude and the ground met my face pretty quickly.

Because Raymond had already walked through the gate, he was only able to witness the part where I'm flying through the air. Being the caring, sympathetic, and loving man that he is, he immediately starts laughing hysterically, "What HAPPENED? How did you do this???".

All that came out of my was a moan. At this point I wanted to cry, I scraped the top of my foot on the second step, laugh, because I'm clumsy, and just start digging a hole to crawl in, because I was embarrassed.

Part 2: It was a lovely Saturday afternoon. (Last week)

Things you need to know before I start the story:

Our bathroom is a mid-level bathroom which means it is located halfway down the stairs. Here is the deal, I don't know why but I like to run up and down stairs. sometimes I run up and down stairs by twos. I know with my track record of falling I should probably take it slow, holding the rail at all times. What can I say? I'm a rebel.



I had just gotten home from a shift at the Sports Centre and was getting ready to take a shower. In true Mary Blake fashion I started to run down the stairs. I tripped, regained my balance, then tripped again. The second trip was when I once again became superwomen. I FLEW straight into the bathroom and to add insult to injury the toilet stopped my forward motion. To be more specific my head meeting the toilet stopped my forward momentum. Injuries you ask? I came out on top of this one. I had a slight carpet burn on my right knee and a small headache. This is a small miracle considering I was STARK NAKED!!!!!!   *face palm*

Raymond heard the commotion and ran to see what had happened. He started again belly laughing and I had to join in.

Hope you enjoy my embarrassing stories. Let's all pray that one day I will have control over my limbs.